The NWO is in My Basement!

I bought a shredder for my office, to get rid of old bills and such. I know the normal procedure to get rid of incriminating documents is just to blow up the entire building, but the wife complained. Anyway, the shredder wasn't working too well so I pulled it open and looked at it.
Apparently the thing had become jammed to the point that some of the blades had actually partially melted. So using the scientific method, and knowing that fire (or in this case a lack of fire) doesn't melt steel, the only conclusion I could come to was that the NWO used super nano-thermate on my paper shredder! The bastards. I am putting this on my expense report.