That's the review of Charlie Sheen's one-man show:
First the U.S. automaker recession, and now this. Charlie Sheen unleashed his Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour on the Motor City on Saturday night before a crowd that greeted the actor with an adoring standing ovation and concluded with booing and walk-outs. The padded and disjointed show was a hodgepodge of video clips and Sheen-isms that felt hastily assembled and misjudged the patience of even the hardest of hardcore fans. Below is our on-the-scene progressive timeline of disaster from Detroit:
9:08 — Sheen: “I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”
9:10 — Sheen’s promises are largely incomprehensible, though at least seem intentionally so: “Freedom from monkey eyed…sweat-eating whores. Freedom from the dour and sour taste of malignant reproach… I’m a giant and leaky bag of mayhem.”
The crowd's reaction reveals the essential difference between people who suck up to you in the hope of getting some of your money (like Lenny Dykstra) and people who actually pay money to listen to your rants.