Over at the Onion:
Self-acknowledged 1906 Earthquake Denier and radical seismologist Dr. William Pletcher rebuffed angered historians by stating that the goal of the conference was neither to prove nor deny the earthquake of 1906. Rather, said Pletcher, it was held to "facilitate an appropriate atmosphere in which the hidden and unhidden angles of the most important geological issue of the 20th century could become more transparent."
"This so-called 'violent shift in the earth's tectonic plates' is nothing more than a thinly veiled lie, perpetrated by the San Francisco zoning commission in secret conjunction with the Freemasons to demonize the San Andreas Fault," Pletcher told reporters outside the conference. "The government won't acknowledge our findings because they fear the truth."
Hat Tip: Horatius at JREF.