Thursday, February 07, 2008

The World's Dumbest Ivy Leaguer

This just goes to show that you don't need to be smart to get into a good school (hey, Bush went to Yale!).

I know that many of the neocons on campus will compare me to a holocaust denier for admitting the obvious - that 9/11 was an inside job carried out by Mossad and the CIA as per Francesco Cossiga. Well I will make your life a whole lot easier this instant! If any student, professor, dean, terrorism expert or alumni can answer the following 11 questions I will drop out of Yale and issue a public apology to George Bush and the Yale administration.

Actually some of the questions are kind of hard to answer, because they are simply based on false premises. My favorite example.

Why did the 9/11 commission report not mention the 'put options' which the Japanese government has stated is extremely unlikely to be anything else but insider trading?

Of course the 9/11 Commission did mention them:

Highly publicized allegations of insider trading in advance of 9/11 generally rest on reports of unusual pre-9/11 trading activity in companies whose stock plummeted after the attacks. Some unusual trading did in fact occur, but each such trade proved to have an innocuous explanation. For example, the volume of put options—investments that pay off only when a stock drops in price—surged in the parent companies of United Airlines on September 6 and American Airlines on September 10—highly suspicious trading on its face.Yet, further investigation has revealed that the trading had no connection with 9/11.

Now can someone from Yale mention this to him so he can take up his rightful destiny working alongside Dylan Avery at Pizza Hut?