Saturday, October 09, 2010

Your New World Order Is Ready for Delivery

This was posted in the comments section by M. Gregory Ferris and it's good enough to pop up to the top page. Posting on the news that Jason Bermas is back at the pizza parlor in Oneonta, he notes:

See if he had any brains at all he would capitalize on his Loose Change fame and open his own pizza parlor/restaurant.

He could have a Monday Night Football special called "The New World Order" with a large pizza, chicken wings and a 2-liter delivered for $25.

He could serve bran muffins called "Inside Jobs".

He could serve fried cheese balls called "Iron Spheres".


Triterope expanded on the idea:

A 9-11 conspiracy themed restaurant? I love it.

APPETIZER
Cheese Microspheres
A mixture of artisan New York cheeses, deep-fried in vegetable oil until molten and served with a savory dipping sauce. And just like the real thing, they're high in iron! $8

MAIN COURSE
Pullets
A young chicken, slow-cooked to rich, juicy flavor. We're so sure you'll love this dish, we've insured it for $3 billion! And with such terrible loss of trans fat, the smartest thing to eat is pullet!$14

SIDE COURSE
Light Pole Pasta
Bucatini pasta cooked to perfection, and arranged in vertical rows. Just like Lloyd England, you'll knock these down! $7

DESSERT
Hunt-The-Boeing King Cake
An authentic New Orleans-style King Cake in the shape of the Pentagon, and a tiny plastic model of Flight 77 instead of a baby... which we don't put in the cake. Learn the truth about 9/11 as you enjoy this delicious pastry. Where's the Boeing? Can't find it, can you? $11

SATISFACTION GUARANTEE: If you're not completely satisfied that 9/11 was an inside job, we'll remake your meal up to six times. However, we reserve the right to make substitutions.


I love the "Hunt-The-Boeing" cake idea; that made me laugh out loud. Billman added the drink selection:

Alex Jones Kool-Aid
This fatty drink will have you screaming aloud about the elite zionist flavors from which it is concocted!


All orders delivered to your door by Israeli Art Students.

13 Comments:

At 09 October, 2010 14:47, Blogger Dave Kyte said...

Everything delivered in tin foil with instruction on how to make the wrappings into a hat.

 
At 09 October, 2010 14:47, Blogger Billman said...

Don't forget the Kids meal for little "girls"

Brian Good Special
This tasty Meatball on a Fork comes with a side order of Willy Rodriguez's famous dipping sauce. When you eat this tasty nugget, you'll notice a big difference between the booms at the top when the first bite hits your mouth, and the booms at the bottom when the flaming morsels hit your stomach. Mmm mmm mmm!

 
At 09 October, 2010 14:50, Blogger Dave Kyte said...

I will have the Pentagon Burger with extra the spicy nano thermite sauce.

Why no pancakes?

 
At 09 October, 2010 14:50, Blogger Billman said...

Your kids will practically beg be thrown over the fence to get inside the restaurant and snack on those! (Shout out to Troy).

 
At 09 October, 2010 14:54, Blogger Dave Kyte said...

Guaranteed to not be Kosher.

 
At 09 October, 2010 14:56, Blogger Dave Kyte said...

And of course don't forget, SPAM.

 
At 09 October, 2010 15:27, Blogger Billman said...

And for specialty drinks:

Active Thermitic Materializer
For groups of 4 or more: This concoction is served in a punchbowl filled with 7 types of rum, dry ice, and mixed with Red Bull for a drink that will coat the walls of your insides with energizing flavor! At $12 a bowl, the review amongst you and your peers will be: Delicious!

 
At 09 October, 2010 16:42, Blogger paul w said...

Trite:

Man, double the price.

These idiots have no problems handing over their cash for over-priced truther junk.

Fleece the morons.

 
At 09 October, 2010 17:07, Blogger M Gregory Ferris said...

They could boast that deliveries will be made at free-fall speed or your order is half off. The catch is that free-fall speed is whatever the driver thinks it is, never the customer.

For customers having their birthday dinner/lunch staff (dressed like Mossad agents) can circle the table and sing happy birthday and video the event for the customer. When the customer gets home he finds that the DVD has been altered.

I also like the idea of a garden salad called "The Grassy Knoll" that comes with your choice of a second Tequilla Shooter or an Oyster shooter.

He could come up with his own brand of Hot Sauce called "Nano-Thermite".

 
At 09 October, 2010 17:26, Blogger Triterope said...

Man, double the price. These idiots have no problems handing over their cash for over-priced truther junk.

Well, if it was an honest-to-God 9/11 Truth restaurant, it wouldn't have such a simple pricing scheme. Their price list would be more like this:

Now that you've read our menu, you must understand we cannot bring you these delicious and peer-reviewed 9/11 meals for free. We need $100,000 to buy ovens, ingredients, and hire chefs to prepare these four dishes. Please click on the ChipIn link and help us reach our goal. Every dollar brings us closer to serving 9/11 Truth to the restaurant public!

Then the restaurant would close without explanation, and another one just like it would open up.

 
At 09 October, 2010 20:56, Blogger "Broom Jockey" William Rodriguez Fan said...

Now available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube.

The Alex Jones Deception - 2nd Edition

Plenty of New Scenes with some older scenes, of course.

The foul language has been taken out and this new film is now watchable for the whole family at a PG-13 rating, IMHO!!!

Part 1 of 6...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IjJrceAR4w

 
At 09 October, 2010 21:20, Blogger Richard Gage's Testicles said...

Don't eat at that place. I had a thermal hot spot in my bowel for fourteen days that cannot be explained.

 
At 09 October, 2010 21:41, Blogger "Broom Jockey" William Rodriguez Fan said...

The Alex Jones Deception - 2nd Edition (Part 2 of 6)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JS53AVkkqo

 

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